Been a year. Almost. *tumbleweeds* I've been kicking it on twitter and tumblr. Get the kind of attention there that an attention whore like myself needs. You just weren't right for me, Blog. We just never *clicked* ... ya know? I guess, I'm saying goodbye. So. Goodbye. In the most cliched way possible:

"So long
Farewell
Auf Wiedersehen
Goodnight

I hate to go
and leave this pretty sight

So long
Farewell
Auf Wiedersehen
Adieu

Adieu, adieu
To you and you and you"

Etc.

Caption: Weeded Magazines. Not pictured: Me shoveling money into a wood chipper. Cuz that's crazy.

The discarded. The unwanted. The Weeded. We don't keep everything forever at the library, you know. We have to get rid of some our "shit" once in awhile. Or in some cases, on a regular basis.

Magazines are weeded from our system according to a schedule. Monthly magazines are shucked once they're six months or older. Weeklies get dumped every three months. All of these end up on the free magazine shelf, to be sorted through and pawed over by various individuals who come into the branch and for multitudinous reasons. It's no unusual sight to see people carrying armfuls of these "free" magazines out to their cars; admittedly to the relief of those who work here and who sometimes cast a woeful eye to the overflowing free magazine shelf. It can get a little messy.

So, what's the point of all this, you might ask? And I'd say, what? You're not interested in what happens to magazines that live in the library? Actually, I'd probably say: I'm just bitching. But truthfully, you should care. At least a little bit. After all, your tax dollars fund the library and that includes it's acquisitions. Acquisitions like magazines. Take a gander at some of the magazines in that row at the top. Wow, some of 'em look kind of fresh considering they've been in circulation for at least six months. Okay, maybe you think they don't look that fresh. Well, they certainly look very, very fresh in comparison with some of our more popular titles - you can trust me on that. Weeding is one of my jobs here at the library and I've been doing it for almost as long as I've been here, which is three years in August.

Certain magazines are consistently unpopular; a lot it probably depends on which branch they call home, but other factors come into play as well. Some of the titles pictured above are checked out once or less per item at their home branch. That's not a very good return on an investment, especially one doomed to end up on a free shelf after 3-6 months.

So, you have to question why a library system would consistently and essentially chunk money into a wood chipper via subscriptions for magazines that are never checked out. I mean, these are the same people who take a hard line on the temperature at each branch and, in times of past fiscal hardship, forced their employees to bring their own toilet tissue.

Sock Watch!

Since our stocks all suck I've decided to ignore the financial meltdown and focus on something that really matters: Socks! Aren't socks awesome? They keep our feet warm/dry, make our shoes less stinky, and come in at least three different colors and styles. So Exciting! Two interesting socks are featured this week and first up: My New Favorite Pair of Socks.

I like blue, I like green, I like lighter shades of blue. These socks have everything! Be sure to watch them closely in the future - they might just do some amazing things.

This next pair comes from my co-worker Janet. They're an old favorite and she highly recommends them as high-return socks. And polka dots are awesome! So stylish.

That's it for this week's Sock Watch! Who needs Bloomberg TV?

My boss was kind enough to give a Men of the Islands 2010 Calendar. I was the last person to be asked if I wanted it and the first to say yes. I'll never call in sick again.

Highlights!:

Isn't the contrast stunning? The play of light and shadow, the...weird skin tones, ...ahhhh...

Doing his part for LNS (Limp Nipple Syndrome) sufferers everywhere.

Such exquisite posing!! The, um, creativity!

...There you have it. Your preview. I'm sure you're rushing to the store right now to buy it. Aren't you glad you pay attention to the goings on here? You lucky bastards.

Anybody else get sick everytime they get a little time off? Seems like everytime I go on vacation or even have a surprise(!) bit of time, I get sick. It's Super Frustrating. Take last week. We here in Louisiana had a little snowcation. By snowcation, I mean it snowed a little, everyone freaked out, the city of Alexandria practically shut down, and I decided to stay home on Thursday rather than drive to work (40 miles both ways) in the sleet and possible snow; not to mention the flood waters in the area from the Calcasieu River that had been sending me, for more than a week, on a truly mind-numbing and car endangering detour. (You, dear reader, were this close to getting an exciting series on enormous potholes; drat, they filled them in a day later). My boss and coworker discussed it with me; she found me a sub for the next day; I went home, worked out, and here comes the sore throat. What the hell? Don't mean to bitch too much, but jeez, it would have been nice if I had been able to get something productive done Thursday (out), Friday (branch closed anyway), Saturday (not scheduled), or Sunday, besides some half-assed vacuuming and three discs of The O.C. Season 1. Oh well, The O.C. was pretty fun.

If I could figure out a way to make my problems sound interesting, I'd have endless material for this here blog. But I can't. My life must seem like an endless mope, but rest assured, it's not. I just don't always get the urge to blog unless there's something wrong. If I wrote everything here that I ever wanted to it would be drama, drama, drama all the time. And who wants to read a dramatic blog? All the best, biggest, most famous...est blogs are funny blogs. Or helpful blogs. Or cool blogs. Or really informative blogs.

Hmm, so what's something helpful, cool, informative (and maybe funny)? Let's see...did you know that Bookseller Magazine has an annual competition for books with weird titles? No, well here's a few: Curbside Consultation of the Colon; Baboon Metaphysics; and Strip and Knit with Style. Wow. Excrement in the Late Middle Ages was not quite weird enough but congrats on runner up status. Past list members of note: Bombproof Your Horse - well that sounds fun! And How to Avoid Huge Ships - 'cause that's just useful. Kudos.

Huh. I don't know how helpful or cool, or...Well, I don't know what this was. All I know is it cheered me up! Yay! I guess that's all that matters. Oh, Blog, you always know just the thing.

Hola, pplz (who don't read this blog)

How's it goin'? I'm at work, taking a little break to catch up on my Internets Obsessions. They are legion. I think. I mean, how do you quantify an obsession or set of obsessions in comparison to someone else's? I've heard of people who spend way much more time on the Internet than I do. And I can't imagine spending more time than I already do. I think my eyes would bleed. Apparently, there's even a test (online of course) that you can take to see if you have an addiction. Let's see: I got a 22: You are an average on-line user. You may surf the Web a bit too long at times, but you have control over your usage. That sounds about right. Some of the questions are hilarious: 13. How often do you snap, yell, or act annoyed if someone bothers you while you are on-line? Wow. Are they sure these people aren't just teenagers?